No rants or angst this morning, just a random thought. I'm at the salt mine and I just looked at the picture of Keeley on my desk and I got all misty. Sometimes I just look at my beautiful little girl and my heart hurts because I love her so very much.
That's all.
2.29.2008
2.27.2008
(Didn't) Enter, Sandman
I am fried this morning. Didn't really get to sleep until about 2:30 last night. No real reason...just couldn't fall out. Then my head started working overtime on everything under the sun...work, my novel, money, life, Breakfast Jacks, women I've slept with, women I would like to sleep with, Breakfast Jacks, and on and on. Every so often I'd glance at the clock and panic when I saw just how much less sleep I'd be getting before I had to get up and trudge off to the salt mine.
I try to get 7 hrs sleep each night. When I succeed, I'm pretty optimistic about life when I wake up. I feel alert, poised, benevolent toward my fellow man. When I have nights like last night, my head hurts, my eyes feel like they're going to fall out of my skull. I feel edgy. I'm more likely to take things personally, I have a short fuse, and I feel like life is one big chore.
Once was a time when I could function just fine on 2 hours sleep. Alas, those days are gone. It sucks getting old.
I try to get 7 hrs sleep each night. When I succeed, I'm pretty optimistic about life when I wake up. I feel alert, poised, benevolent toward my fellow man. When I have nights like last night, my head hurts, my eyes feel like they're going to fall out of my skull. I feel edgy. I'm more likely to take things personally, I have a short fuse, and I feel like life is one big chore.
Once was a time when I could function just fine on 2 hours sleep. Alas, those days are gone. It sucks getting old.
2.11.2008
Street Fightin' Man
I finally learned what it means when they say "It ain't worth it."
Last weekend, I did one of the hardest things a guy has to do. I walked away from a fight.
Actually, it wasn't a real fight. No one actually threw down. Basically what happened is that this guy thought I cut him off in a parking lot and got out of his pickup to read me the riot act, complete with a sprinkling of choice obscenities. I stood by my car and debated whether or not to throw down on him.
I won't lie. When he got out of his truck I got scared. He was bigger than me, albeit older and sporting a good ol' boy's beer belly and flabby arms. I even started reaching for a crowbar I keep under my seat in preparation for battle. And the fear started giving way to anger, and the anger to rage. I started thinking, Yeah, bring it on, motherfucker. Let's go.
But then I realized Pickup Guy wasn't moving in for the attack, but staying by his truck, his only weapon his cell phone. And I also realized a few other things:
- (1) I have a little daughter at home who needs me.
- (2) If I pulled out the crowbar, I would escalate this situation from a verbal confrontation into a physical one.
- (3) If this turned into a fight, someone, most likely a bystander, would call the cops.
- (4) If I kicked this guy's ass, I could get arrested. Maybe even sued.
Crazy as it seems, I'm more afraid of getting arrested or sued than getting my ass kicked. It was then that I realized this whole situation was not worth any legal consequences.
So I forgot about the crowbar, faced PG, put up my hands to show I wasn't going to start anything, and said something he didn't expect:
"Have a nice day, sir."
I have used this tactic in similar situations before. I admit I don't smile when I say it; rather, it's kind of a mantra that helps to bring myself back from the brink while also telling my opponent that while I'm not going to start any shit, I will finish it if forced. I repeated it several times to let him know that our little meeting of minds was over.
Well, it worked. PG seemed a little taken off-guard by what I said and lost some of his momentum. He bellowed some more insults, but got back in his truck and drove off. If you ask me, he didn't want to fight any more than I did. He proved it not only by leaving, but also by not waiting for me outside the parking lot later.
It took me a while to bring my adrenaline levels back down, but once I did, I started re-examining my whole mindset about street confrontations. And that's where I realized what people meant about these situations "not being worth" coming to blows.
Protecting myself, my family, or my home is worth getting arrested for. My pride, a parking space, or the last box of Trader Joe's O's is not. So I actually have to thank Pickup Guy for helping me learn this valuable lesson. And, I must admit, I've toned down my driving style. I'm less aggressive now behind the wheel. I let people get in front of me when they need to, I don't cut them off, and my middle finger hasn't raised itself in quite a few days.
But because I'm a vengeful motherfucker at heart, if I ever see a bus bearing down on the dude, I probably won't say a damn word. :)
Last weekend, I did one of the hardest things a guy has to do. I walked away from a fight.
Actually, it wasn't a real fight. No one actually threw down. Basically what happened is that this guy thought I cut him off in a parking lot and got out of his pickup to read me the riot act, complete with a sprinkling of choice obscenities. I stood by my car and debated whether or not to throw down on him.
I won't lie. When he got out of his truck I got scared. He was bigger than me, albeit older and sporting a good ol' boy's beer belly and flabby arms. I even started reaching for a crowbar I keep under my seat in preparation for battle. And the fear started giving way to anger, and the anger to rage. I started thinking, Yeah, bring it on, motherfucker. Let's go.
But then I realized Pickup Guy wasn't moving in for the attack, but staying by his truck, his only weapon his cell phone. And I also realized a few other things:
- (1) I have a little daughter at home who needs me.
- (2) If I pulled out the crowbar, I would escalate this situation from a verbal confrontation into a physical one.
- (3) If this turned into a fight, someone, most likely a bystander, would call the cops.
- (4) If I kicked this guy's ass, I could get arrested. Maybe even sued.
Crazy as it seems, I'm more afraid of getting arrested or sued than getting my ass kicked. It was then that I realized this whole situation was not worth any legal consequences.
So I forgot about the crowbar, faced PG, put up my hands to show I wasn't going to start anything, and said something he didn't expect:
"Have a nice day, sir."
I have used this tactic in similar situations before. I admit I don't smile when I say it; rather, it's kind of a mantra that helps to bring myself back from the brink while also telling my opponent that while I'm not going to start any shit, I will finish it if forced. I repeated it several times to let him know that our little meeting of minds was over.
Well, it worked. PG seemed a little taken off-guard by what I said and lost some of his momentum. He bellowed some more insults, but got back in his truck and drove off. If you ask me, he didn't want to fight any more than I did. He proved it not only by leaving, but also by not waiting for me outside the parking lot later.
It took me a while to bring my adrenaline levels back down, but once I did, I started re-examining my whole mindset about street confrontations. And that's where I realized what people meant about these situations "not being worth" coming to blows.
Protecting myself, my family, or my home is worth getting arrested for. My pride, a parking space, or the last box of Trader Joe's O's is not. So I actually have to thank Pickup Guy for helping me learn this valuable lesson. And, I must admit, I've toned down my driving style. I'm less aggressive now behind the wheel. I let people get in front of me when they need to, I don't cut them off, and my middle finger hasn't raised itself in quite a few days.
But because I'm a vengeful motherfucker at heart, if I ever see a bus bearing down on the dude, I probably won't say a damn word. :)
2.05.2008
Super Fat Tuesday
I am pleased to say that football has been bery bery good to me.
Robin won about 20 bucks in a pool at her cousin's Super Bowl party the other day. Then yesterday I showed up at work to learn that I had won 200 bucks at our office SB pool. Sweeeeeeet!!!! It definitely made my Monday.
As is my custom with unexpected windfalls, I'll keep half for myself for fun money, then give 3% of my winnings to our church (which, in this case means $6.00), and split the rest up between our emergency savings, Robin's IRA, and Keeley's 529 account. Such a responsible mofo, ain't I?
Speaking of responsibility, I already voted. In case you're interested, I'm a registered Democrat and I voted for Obama. I was inspired to do so after reading the blog by Angry Asian Man. Here is the quote from that blog that influenced me:
I have nothing against Hillary and respect her experience. I will vote for her in November if she wins the nomination. But I'm down with what AAM said. And even if Obama (or Hillary, for that matter) doesn't get into the Oval Office this time, it's progress and one step closer to change.
However, regardless of what you think, if you're registered to vote and haven't done so yet, please get out and do so. And if you're not registered, do so before November. People in other countries are either denied the right to vote or are killed for exercising said right; it's a crime that there are plenty of folks here in the U.S. who have this privilege and yet fail to take advantage of it.
Besides, you get a free sticker when you turn in your ballot. :)
Robin won about 20 bucks in a pool at her cousin's Super Bowl party the other day. Then yesterday I showed up at work to learn that I had won 200 bucks at our office SB pool. Sweeeeeeet!!!! It definitely made my Monday.
As is my custom with unexpected windfalls, I'll keep half for myself for fun money, then give 3% of my winnings to our church (which, in this case means $6.00), and split the rest up between our emergency savings, Robin's IRA, and Keeley's 529 account. Such a responsible mofo, ain't I?
Speaking of responsibility, I already voted. In case you're interested, I'm a registered Democrat and I voted for Obama. I was inspired to do so after reading the blog by Angry Asian Man. Here is the quote from that blog that influenced me:
"I'm attracted to Obama's fundamental message of inclusion, hope and progressive change. He's built a campaign on cross-cultural, multi-generational grassroots movements and community building, and I believe he reflects what this nation needs—a radical change in direction of this country. It's a wayward ship, a broken record, a busted machine. I can no longer stand by idly and let the old political guard make the same old wack decisions for me. This election will be about how we will bring change, and for the first time in a long time (ever?), we're seeing the possibility that this race could be about something other than political dynasties and old white dudes."
I have nothing against Hillary and respect her experience. I will vote for her in November if she wins the nomination. But I'm down with what AAM said. And even if Obama (or Hillary, for that matter) doesn't get into the Oval Office this time, it's progress and one step closer to change.
However, regardless of what you think, if you're registered to vote and haven't done so yet, please get out and do so. And if you're not registered, do so before November. People in other countries are either denied the right to vote or are killed for exercising said right; it's a crime that there are plenty of folks here in the U.S. who have this privilege and yet fail to take advantage of it.
Besides, you get a free sticker when you turn in your ballot. :)
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