Stay Tuned...

Too busy to post today. I'll be back on Monday with a recap of my visit with my dysfunctional in-laws. Pray for me.

The Day After

Back in the Fray today. Commute traffic still super light…if only it were like this all the time!

The Swift family had a good Christmas. Keeley didn’t know what to make of the fact that most of the cookies on the plate she had left for Santa the night before were gone, as was the milk. She did, however, seem to appreciate the avalanche of presents for her that had magically appeared under and around our Charlie Brown Christmas tree (we have a small place), although she lost interest in unwrapping after about the fourth gift, leaving Daddy to finish the job. Her room looks like somebody dropped a Dora the Explorer bomb in it; I think we may have to hang a ©Viacom/Nickelodeon sign in her window to please the copyright police.

Robin absolutely loves her new iPod shuffle, courtesy of Keeley :), and her new Williams-Sonoma milk frother, courtesy of yours truly. I got a new pair of weightlifting gloves to replace the shredded pair I’ve been using for the last decade, and a cordless drill to replace the corded one I’ve been using for the last two decades.

Dinner was at Robin’s cousin’s house; we had homemade lasagna, which sounds a little unconventional, but was quite good. Nobody got too drunk and all the females in the house fawned over Keeley.

We wound up the evening finishing our DVD of Ratatouille, which we had started late on Christmas Eve but didn’t finish because I couldn’t keep my eyes open anymore. It wasn’t that the movie was boring (it was quite good), rather that I was just plain wiped out.

When I got in my car this morning and checked KOST 103.5 FM, which had been playing nothing but Christmas music 24/7 since just after Thanksgiving, I felt a pang of that familiar post-Christmas letdown. I guess it’s because I know there’s a whole year to get through before that station plays holiday tunes again. A whole year before Christmas comes again. Sometimes it bums me out.

Although, not as much as the fact that I have to see my mother-in-law and sister-in-law this weekend. I’ll discuss this tomorrow.

The Night Before

Currently at work; we’re busy as always but are supposed to get out at 1:00 today, so not too much longer to go. I actually don’t mind working during the holiday week…traffic is usually light (my commute was only 35 mins as opposed to the usual 60) and I’d rather hoard my vaca days for use during other times of the year.

I’m looking forward to piling up all Keeley’s presents under and around the tree tonight. I’m looking forward to bringing her new tricycle in from its hiding place in our backyard storage shed and putting a bow on it before positioning it next to the tree at a jaunty angle. I’m looking forward to helping her put out Santa’s plate of milk and cookies (chocolate chip, bought at Trader Joe’s). I’m looking forward to relaxing with Robin in front of the tree and basking in the glow of the Christmas lights after all the presents have been set out.

Most of all, I’m looking forward to seeing my daughter’s face tomorrow morning when she comes out of her room and sees the evidence of Santa’s visit. Last year she was still unfamiliar with the whole deal to even tear the wrapping off her presents. This year, I probably won’t have to help her.

I can’t wait to see it. And as she scatters wrapping paper and ribbons all over the living room floor, I’ll make sure to say a quiet prayer of gratitude that God has blessed us during the past year, and that Robin and I are here with our baby and can give her everything she wanted for Christmas and then some.

Merry Christmas, everyone.

I'm Baaacccckkkk...

...and happy to report that Keeley's birthday weekend was a big success. Her party went off without a hitch (except for the fact that we overbought on food and had to send 4 pizzas home with a few lucky folks). Daddy escaped serious injury in the bouncy house we rented, even when he started re-enacting WWE scenarios with some of the older kids in attendance.

Even our trip to Disneyland was a hit. Keeley got to meet Mickey and was given a birthday button and an ice cream sundae at one of the restaurants. She (meaning we) rode the Mad Tea Party AND Dumbo 3 times, Winnie the Pooh and It's A Small World twice, among others. Keeley even made it through the Haunted Mansion and Pirates of the Caribbean; she cowgirled up for the former mainly because Robin kept up a running patter on the "crazy toys" and "pumpkins" that were sprinkled throughout (thanks to the annual NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS rehab), making things amusing rather than scary for Miss K.

We didn't make it on the new FINDING NEMO sub ride, mainly because the line was too long and I didn't want to subject K-baby to the wait. One of my co-workers said it was kinda weak, so I didn't stress. We also skipped Space Mountain and Indiana Jones this time, for the same reasons. (Robin and I were planning on riding singly while the other stayed on the platform with Keeley).

And Keeley even took an hour nap in her stroller thanks to the white noise provided by a waterfall on the grounds of one of the hotels. We even made it to fireworks time, which is a must on my list.

In fact, I'd say the only blot on the whole weekend was the fact that my mother-in-law and sister-in-law were with us for Keeley's party and I had to hear both their voices. But more on that later.

Finally Friday

Currently at the office, waiting to go to my department's holiday lunch and gift exchange in Century City. I'd much rather be home, but it's better than real work. After lunch, we're all getting free passes to go to the movie of our choice at the neighboring multiplex. Some of the guys are talking about seeing I AM LEGEND...I may or may not join them, depending on how I feel. I'm still not 100% better; my stomach is still bothering me and I feel tired despite getting a decent night's sleep. I wonder if this is all due to stress? I had a bad case of acid reflux back in 2000 which I think was stress-induced; maybe this is a repeat of that???

Tomorrow is Keeley's 2nd birthday party. We rented out our church hall and expect about 45 adults and 20 kids. Most of the crowd belongs to Robin's mommy group; the balance are folks from our church and some of Robin's family. My family lives back East, so they won't be there. There will be pizza, cake, and one of those bounce houses. Maybe I should call Prince (as in the Artist Formerly Known As) and see if he's free to perform, too. I'm still not sure how this all came to be; originally Robin had wanted to just have birthday cake in the park with Keeley and her moms' group. Somehow it turned into an event rivaling the halftime show at the Super Bowl.

Monday I have the day off and we're taking Keeley to Disneyland, which should be fine. Hopefully she won't freak out when a 6-foot-tall Mickey comes lumbering toward her. I have to remember that the visit is not so much for us as it is for her. Therefore I may not get to go on as many of the cooler rides as I'd like. But that's OK.

I'm going to go try and empty my GI tract before lunch now. The last thing I want to do is barf up margaritas and Tex-Mex today. Peace out.

Sicko

Back in the Fray today (work, remember, not the band). Was actually back yesterday but was too busy to post.

Still not feeling 100%. Went to the gym and had a shitty workout; actually had to cut it short because I totally ran out of gas. I believe the term is "bonked", or something of that nature.

And I still have this bad case of indigestion from this weekend that won't seem to go away. I stupidly ate a quarter-piece of a donut this morning and am paying the price. At one point during my workout, I dry-heaved and could taste the damn thing again. Nice.

OK, I'm gonna have to sign off until tomorrow. I'm so wiped out I can't think of anything halfway intelligent to say.

My Kingdom for Halo 3

Home with a cold today. It's a Monday and I actually called in sick for the first time since I started my job back in April.

It's my own fault I'm sick, too. I'd been staying up late every night last week, doing this or that and getting only about 5.5 to 6 hrs a night and feeling tired every morning. Then, on Friday night, Keeley kept waking up and wailing every 15-30 minutes, probably because she was wired from playing at her friend Nathan's house that evening while Robin and I attended my company's holiday party. The end result was that I got only about 1.5 to 2 hours of sleep that night, which was enough to push me over the edge.

Right now I feel tired, but not achy and beset with chills, thanks to my little friend Ibuprofen. In about 4 hours the pill will wear off and I might be rockin' and rollin' again until I get my next dose. What a junkie!

Robin and Keeley are off at a play date right now so I can be alone at home. Robin gets a little resentful whenever I've called in sick in the past because in her mind, she doesn't get to call in sick to her job (meaning caring for Keeley) whenever she's feeling under the weather. I told her that the next time she gets sick, I'll stay home and take care of Keeley so she can rest.

My being incapacitated was useful yesterday, though. I stayed home with Keeley for 3 hours while Robin went and got a ton of Christmas shopping done.

So after finishing this post, I'll probably chill on the couch. I'm pretty sure I'll be back in the fray (meaning work) tomorrow, which would be good because we've supposedly got a busy week ahead of us...a last push to get everything done before the holidays.

I wish I had a video game system, though.

The December Game

I actually went to a mall last night to do some Christmas shopping. Well, I suppose it was more of a reconnaissance mission. I'm thinking I might get Robin an iPod for her gym workouts. She's expressed interest in the Shuffle model, which is the size of a large postage stamp and purportedly holds around 240 songs. I know she doesn't care about video, so I ignored the Nano. However, I'm not thrilled about the fact that the Shuffle doesn't have a display, which means if you have 240 songs and you want to find a particular one, you have to click through them to find it. I know Robin and she doesn't have patience for stuff like that where technology is concerned.

I also am considering getting her a pearl station necklace, to replace one I gave her years ago when they were hot but which got broken. For the uninitiated, a pearl station necklace is a string of freshwater pearls where the pearls themselves are spaced far apart. It was evidently first worn by Rene Russo in the movie TIN CUP and later popularized on both BEVERLY HILLS 90210 and MELROSE PLACE.

Last year Robin and I declared a moratorium on all gifts except for stuff for Keeley and for our various nieces and nephews. This was partly to save money and partly because gift exchanges between her family, my family and ourselves consisted of gift cards in equal amounts being sent back and forth. We didn't see the sense in this, so we told everyone to just buy for the kids only.

However, this year Robin and I agreed that we could buy for each other, as we felt kind of ripped off last year when the only one opening presents was Keeley. So, hopefully I can stay on top of things and get what I want for her without putting it off until the last possible second. And that prompted my trip to the lovely Glendale Galleria.

The funny thing is, I hate malls, especially around the holidays. And I hate going into jewelry stores where there aren't many customers to begin with and you can't do your browsing in blissful anonymity. So yours truly found himself at the Apple Store, where, after scoping the iPods, I parked myself on an iBook on display which had a wireless Internet connection and started shopping...online.

God bless the Internet.

Failure of the Will

Bacon cheeseburgers! Anna Kournikova! Free SuperBowl tickets! (Enjoy, D.)

Operating on a shortage of sleep today. It's my own fault; been turning in around 11:30 pm rather than an hour earlier all this week. It's really because I want some time to myself in the evening once Keeley goes to bed. Typically Robin and I watch an hour of TV we've got taped (our shows are 24, DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES, SURVIVOR and THE OFFICE) or a DVD movie before she turns in at 10 or 10:30. (We used to watch HEROES as well but dropped it because it's been booooooorinnng this season.)

I use the time to catch up on b.s. paperwork, like feeble attempts at financial planning, or making to-do lists of things I want to do around the house and in my life but will most likely never get around to. Sometimes I sit in bed with the portable DVD player we bought for our Thanksgiving trip and watch a movie (in 20-min installments) that I've wanted to see but which Robin has no interest in. Lately I've been getting my Tom Hanks on...just finished THE DA VINCI CODE and am now watching SAVING PRIVATE RYAN. The latter I saw in the theatres but am watching for inspiration for a novel I'm percolating in my head.

Speaking of to-do lists, one project I've been laboring on for months (OK, years) is my will (and ancillary legal documents). I know it's super important, but it's amazing how it seems to slide behind taking the contents of my spare change bowl to the local Coinstar machine. I confess my failure to get this done is 10% an unwillingness to dwell on such unpleasantries like my untimely passing, and 90% sheer LAZINESS.

Sigh. I will get it done. I think I can, I think I can...

But hey, I did manage to finally add Keeley as a beneficiary on my measly life insurance policy! I RULE!!!

Crime and Punishment

Keeley was officially punished for the first time the other night.

Robin was giving Keeley her bath and needed her to stand up in the tub so Robin could scrub her down properly. Well, Miss K refused, so Robin warned her that if she didn't do as Mommy said, she'd lose her bedtime stories that evening. Keeley still didn't comply, so down came the hammer. NO BEDTIME STORIES.

Later, it was kind of sad, really, listening to a suddenly penitent Keeley crying and pleading for her "stories", but Robin held firm. And I, knowing that a united front was necessary, actually backed her up, explaining to Keeley in my patient Dad voice why she wasn't getting her stories that night.

Keeley survived the experience. I was afraid she'd spend the next hour or so screaming in protest, but she actually conked out right away...sparing Robin and me the guilt of actually having to punish our baby for the first time. Of course, I think it was a fair penalty, and she got plenty of warnings, and never was a hand or voice raised in anger. I don't think it'll put Keeley in therapy or on the set of a TV talk show in years to come. Regardless, she has to learn to listen to Mommy and Daddy when they ask her to do, or not do, something.

Of course, Miss K became a repeat offender last night. Yup, she did it again. And again she got no bedtime stories. Well, Rome wasn't built in a day...

Boulevard of Broken Dreams

Bunnies! Lap dances! Free lunch at the office!

Those were happy thoughts just for my bro Dave, who said I needed to write about more positive things in this blog, not just my usual doom and gloom. Enjoy, dude. :)

Over the weekend, I had one of those typically L.A. experiences over the weekend that, when they happen, actually make living in this area kind of fun: I had a celebrity sighting.

Actually, it was a celebrity encounter, which means I got to talk to the celebrity one-on-one without being surrounded by agents, paparazzi, bodyguards, or an entourage. Just two reg'lar folks shootin' the shit.

No, it wasn't Jen or Angelina. It wasn't even a major celebrity. Just a gal who was a major player on a reality show that Robin and I used to watch on a regular basis. Just one of those people who would go unrecognized by everyone except the fans of her show, although I will say that this chick actually appeared in MAXIM magazine, which tells you how hot she is. Out of respect for her privacy, I'll just call her Amy. And this isn't because of a sense of virtue on my part, it's really because I felt bad for her.

I met Amy at a local indoor play facility, which was hosting a birthday party for one of Keeley's playmates. She wasn't a guest at the party, she was working there. And not in any capacity exploiting her fifteen minutes of fame. No, Amy was helping serve pizza and cake and keeping the riding toys in order while a room full of toddlers raised hell.

I had recognized Amy from TV the second I walked in the door and, after about 30 minutes of scoping her out on the qt, trying to assess if my suspicions were correct, walked over and asked if she was who I thought she was. To her credit, Amy was nothing like her "character" from her reality show (she was depicted as a scheming beyotch) and was very cool to talk to. I introduced Robin and we chatted about the show and what Amy was doing lately. And here's where I felt bad.

After her TV show, Amy had opted to remain in L.A. to pursue a modeling/acting career rather than return to her home in the Midwest. Who could blame her? She was in her early 20s, hot, had just come off a popular show, and had a lot of potential.

Well, seeing as she was cleaning up at a kids' birthday party for extra cash, things hadn't turned out so golden for her. True, she wasn't doing porn, but I still felt sorry for her. How bitter it must be to have a taste of fame one second, only to watch it all go away the next. Amy confessed that the whole experience was indeed frustrating, and that she wondered if she should throw in the towel and go home. Robin offered words of encouragement, and we both told Amy we hoped to see her on another show or something soon.

Not an original L.A. story, by any means, but it was certainly eye-opening to see it in person.

I really do wish Amy well, in whatever she does. This town sucks.