Passenger 57

Today the Swift family will be flying to Atlanta to spend Thanksgiving with Robin's family. It will be Keeley's first airplane trip ever, and Daddy is worried. You'd think he was preparing to ship out to Iraq. I'm worried that Keeley will have one continuous meltdown on the entire 5-hour flight that will earn Robin and me the enmity of every passenger and crew member on the aircraft. I'm worried that we'll miss our connecting flight in Phoenix or somehow not be able to sit together so that one of us is left managing Keeley all alone.

We've prepared as well as we can. We have new little toys, books, flashcards and snacks that all conform to TSA regulations. I even bought a portable DVD player so Keeley can watch a couple of her favorite Dora the Explorer DVDs. All the same, I will feel much better once we are safely at Robin's brother's home. Actually, I will feel much better once we are back safely at OUR home on Saturday afternoon.

And here's my pet peeve for today. Am I just imagining this, or do minivan drivers seem like the most aggressive, rude, and clueless individuals on the freeways of America? I had some asswipe in a Quest come up behind me doing about 85 mph; I executed my signature Slowdown to the Speed Limit move and kept him back for a few minutes, but once he got an opening to pass, he made the jump to lightspeed and blazed by me. The last I saw of him, he was zigzagging up the Ventura Freeway like Steve McQueen in BULLITT.

I don't know, maybe this dude and others like him are so pissed off and resentful that they have to drive minivans that they take their aggressions out on the road. However, last time I looked there are many fine vehicles to choose from. You can get a decent SUV for the same price (if not less) than some minivans. And you won't look like a dork.

Happy Thanksgiving to all.