House Lust

I'm having one of my po' moments. That's "po'", as in POOR.

It started yesterday when I overheard my boss talking about the fact that he bought his first house 13 years ago at age 25, for what was, at the time, a reasonable price. He and his wife sold it a few years later for a profit and bought another house closer to her job. They didn't make as much as they could have had they waited a few years more, but they made out OK just the same.

As I mentioned in a previous post, I'm 43 and I still rent. My family lives outside of Los Angeles in a tiny 2 BR house that was probably built during the WPA program. The neighborhood is working-class but relatively safe, mostly families and senior citizens. For this we pay the princely sum of $1,350 a month, which I'm told is very good for what we're getting. Our landlord is a hands-off kinda guy who hasn't raised our rent in the 18 months we've been there (knock on wood).

I should be grateful for what we have. I AM grateful.

But sometimes it seems like Robin and I are the only ones who missed the boat and didn't buy a home just before the real estate boom sent prices into the ionosphere. It seems like everyone around us owns a home. Or their second home. And they have mortgages of $300/month. And they amassed their down payment not by scrimping and saving, but because their parents gave it to them. And their yearly household income is $400K/year. Or it's $30K/year. And somehow they seem to have all this disposable income so they can have satellite and plasma screens and take vacations to Hawaii every 3 months.

The last time I checked, the median home price in LA County was $500,000. 20% of that (the down payment amount needed to avoid PMI) is $100,000. Who the FUCK has that kind of money just sitting around in their savings account? Besides Eva Longoria, I mean. (Actually, she prob. has a lot more.)

I am currently our family's sole source of income. I make just enough for us to pay our bills and eat like normal humans. We have enough for incidentals, and by that I mean necessities, not frills. Other than Robin's car lease ($350/month), we have zero debt. My nondescript car is paid for. We even have enough for a 3-DVDs-at-a-time Netflix subscription and can also contribute about $30/week to our church. Somehow I manage to put away $100/month into Keeley's 529 account. We have some savings, both liquid and long-term. You're probably reading this and wondering what the hell I'm bitching about...my life is blessed.

And you're right. But every so often I feel like a total loser because I'm past 40 and there are working class Joes and Janes out there half my age who make and have so much more. True, Robin and I weren't as frugal as we could have been in past years, but we weren't out of control, either. And the fact of the matter is we could've stretched and bought a house about 7 years ago, but we were scared and naïve and blew what was probably our only opportunity in this lifetime to own property.

I have to tell myself that owning a home is not my raison d'être. I have to remind myself that my wife and I are healthy, have a healthy, happy child who doesn't want for anything, and that we have more than a lot of people in this world do. I have to remind myself that Keeley doesn't have to be in day care because I make enough so Robin doesn't have to work. I have to tell myself that all I can do is save where I can and trust that God will put us in a house of our own if He wills it. I am blessed, I am blessed, I am blessed.

But I still shouldn't forget to get my lottery ticket at lunchtime. You never know...